I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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