these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Randomize
