i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
