am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
