i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
