ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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