I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
