YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
