biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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