How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Bang-toberfest begins!!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Everclear isn't food dammit
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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