so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He felt like a one man threesome
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
