What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
