I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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