i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
