Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have fence marks all over my body
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
