Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
