He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
