I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
