Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
