Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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