I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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