Just cropdusted the office
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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