i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
