Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
we're so committed to being not committed
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
