Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
