my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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