you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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