There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
