I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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