I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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