shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
