think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
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You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
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you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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