You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
