Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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