yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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