my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
