I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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