Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
