I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
