EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
