When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
