Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
