God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
