I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i now understand why vodka
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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