don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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