last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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