Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
