no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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