He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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