check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
