I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
