you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
