On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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