Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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