But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize