I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm jealous of your bromance
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
