Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just gift wrapped bread.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
