i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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