Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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